Laughing Magician — Diary of Dreams

Saw Jesus. He said he was sorry and that he hadn’t expected the spanish inquisition. I said I too was sorry that there are so many dickheads amongst his followers and that I don’t blame him. Still don’t understand why he had to mix all that god crap with a generally good idea. Gonna ask him next time.

Night #2:

Saw Buddha. I congratulated him for being maybe the only guy in all of the history whose good idea hadn’t turned into shit even after so many years. He nodded and faded back into Nirvana. Lucky bastard.

Night #3:

Saw Allah. Asked him why he hated women so much. He started to mumble something, but I got bored pretty soon and told him to go fuck himself. He faded. I figure he just hasn’t got laid in all his eternal life, that sexist piece of shit. Still don’t know if he actually fucked himself.

Night #4:

Saw Superman. He punched me for being mean and reading too much Marvel books. Next time I’ll put a kryptonite under my pillow before I sleep.

Night #5:

Saw Grant Morrison. I demanded some explanations and he gave them to me. I didn’t understand a shit. I demanded explanations to these explanations, but it was morning already and I woke up before he could say anything.

Night #6:

Saw Alan Moore. He said that I was damned for not only seeing “Watchmen” in cinema, but also giving it a “10/10” on IMDB. I said that if he knew some ways to make my life even more unbearable & miserable, he was welcome to try. I woke up a platypus. Damn.

Night #7:

I got better. Saw Stephen King. Couldn’t say anything for most of the night. He too didn’t say a word. In the end I said “Hi.” and he said “Hi.” too and then I woke up. I really suck at talking with people that are so much better than me.

Night #8:

Saw some weird shit.

Night #9:

Saw Zooey Deschanel. Finally a good dream.

Night #10:

Saw Samurai Jack. I’ve finally got myself an insomnia and had to entertain myself somehow.

Night #11:

Finally fell asleep. Saw myself. He told me I was a sad useless bastard with no friends and shit for brains. I shot the fucker with a really big gun. Even if he was right, I’m the guy with a gun.